Do Not Ass, the No Assing Zone and the Timeless Art of Sign Vandalism

You know it’s wrong but you still laugh every time you see it.

You’re out on one of Schuylkill County’s many rural roads, just cruising along. And then you get behind a slow poke.

But luckily, you’re out in the middle of nowhere and the roads have these fantastic dashed lines. They let you pass the slow poke in front of you. If you’ve ever gotten behind a tractor, you know why these lines are necessary.

‘Do Not Ass’

The passing zone is only available for a limited time. Get around the slow driver and get back into the right lane. No screwing around over there. At the end of the passing zone, you’re going to see a sign telling you the fun is over. It reads, DO NOT PASS.

But around these parts, some wisenheimer goes around deleting the P.

Our friend Bryan at (@coalspeaker) spotted the handiwork of Schuylkill County’s Banksy in Locustdale recently.

See, now it says DO NOT ASS.

And that’s funny.

We know it’s not right but every time we see it, we know our dollars supporting the arts in Schuylkill County are well worth it.

Another popular one you’ll see a lot is the golden triangle with NO PASSING ZONE on it. Of course, once SCB (Schuylkill County Banksy) gets to it, it’s the NO ASSING ZONE.

Just so we’re clear here, we know this is an actual crime. In Pennsylvania, if you’re found defacing road signs or any other type of property that isn’t yours, you’re committing criminal mischief. It’s a misdemeanor so you won’t go to jail but you’ll get sick of paying the fines.

And then when you see what the state pays for these signs — and what the state pays to clean up your artwork — you’ll be really sorry when Tom Wolf has to invent some new tax to pay for it.

You know what they say: It’s all fun and games until someone loses a P.

Schuylkill County History of Signage Shenanigans

Would you believe our screwing with signs dates back … like, way back in history?

Of course you would. We’re talking about here, of course.

But would you believe it dates way back to the 19th Century? It’s true.

We found this recent post in the Girardville, Pennsylvania Facebook group. It’s a clipping from a very old newspaper (c. 1885) detailing a recent crime spree to hit Guntown:

It’s always Girardville, ain’t? We’re betting that the warm reception wasn’t the slap on the wrist you get for messing with signs today.