Johnny Carson: Hey, have you seen the potholes in the Fairlane Village Mall parking lot. Those potholes are SO DEEP.
Audience: HOW DEEP ARE THEY‽
Johnny: The holes in the parking lot are so deep I found an open Waldenbooks.
Johnny: Potholes up the mall are so deep, a local archaeology team was up there checking out bones discovered in the Friendly’s parking lot. True story.
The excavation broke up quickly when they realized they just stumbled upon an old Ponderosa dump site.
Johnny: Of course, it’s not all bad. The potholes at the mall are so deep, the Dollar Tree trucks now have a direct route from the store to China.
Johnny: Speaking of deep holes … Tommy is in for Doc tonight.
With us tonight … two funny guys, Mr. Fred. Travalena.
And a man you’ve gotten used to seeing on this stage from time to time … Mr. Jay Leno.
And we’ll be …
(Insert commercial break here)
Johnny: Our first guest tonight fills in for yours truly from time to time. This weekend, he’ll be at The Laugh Factory right here in Los Angeles. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jay Leno …
Jay Leno: Say, have you heard about those potholes at the Fairlane Village Mall? It reminds me of this story about two guys and a goat …
** Special thanks to Coalspeaker.com for writing the gem about Waldenbooks that inspired the rest of this post! **