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Canary Jumped the Shark

REVEALED! The Grinch’s Meth Dealer Business Cards

When local authorities took the Minersville meth dealer known as The Grinch into custody recently, they found him in possession of a lot of things you’d expect to find on a meth dealer.

  • Meth? Check.
  • The infamous “glassine” baggies? Check.
  • A scale? Check. Twp of them, actually.
  • A ledger book? Amazingly, check.
  • Business cards? Check!

Wait a minute … business cards?

This Grinch guy had a real operation going. And when we received the report on his most recent arrest, we were stunned to find out that:

  1. He somehow got out of jail as quickly as he did, and
  2. He had actual business cards to advertise his illicit trade.

No joke. Business cards … for a meth dealer.

Take a look at an early version of The Grinch’s business cards:

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meth dealer business card

So, for starters, when you’re dealing meth, it’s pretty obvious that trademark infringement isn’t your biggest concern.

The Grinch’s DBA name is clever: The Grinch’s Snow and Ice Removal.

And you can see that he handles orders big and small but commits a common grammar foul, using the wrong to/too.

“No pile to big?” You’re not going to build a methamphetamine empire with sloppiness like that.

There’s another glaring misspelling underneath his advertisement for his weed:

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“Avalible year round,” is what the card reads.

Is it any wonder police were able to catch up to him the first time? This card has all the markings of an all-flash/no-substance operation, including that gaudy black card stock.

His cards definitely improved on their second run. Have a look at The Grinch’s latest cards:

meth dealer business cards
This is just so much better. It’s obvious The Grinch added a proofreader to his staff.

He’s using the right too/to and he’s spelled “Available” correctly.

The updated business card also makes better use of white space. It’s more legible because it’s on a white card stock.

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Sure, he still violates some copyright laws by using a picture of the actual Grinch but this second effort is much better.

Sometimes a News Story Just Falls on Your Lap

Some news stories take a while to develop. Lots of work happening behind the scenes until something’s ready to get published.

And then there are stories like The Grinch that just fall out of the sky. The biggest problem you have is coming up with a word that rhymes with narcotics.

Check out our unique coverage of the previous arrests of The Grinch to see what we mean:

ALSO READ

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Edward B Connolly

    October 4, 2020 at 1:11 pm

    Something The Grinch’s proofreader didn’t catch:
    “7Days a Week”.
    Should be:
    “7 Days a Week”.
    I look for perfection on the business cards of all of my various neighborhood pharmacists.

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